Dear White Women, You Can't "Smash the Patriarchy" and Perpetuate It Simultaneously

You also can’t smash it without destroying capitalism and white supremacy

Photo Credit Gayatri Malhotra via Pexels

“Smash the Patriarchy," white feminists say, with clubs in hand as they swing from the rafters within the boundaries of our patriarchal system. Their outspoken cries of so-called “freedom” from the patriarchy refuse to be heard by anti-racist feminists, though. White feminist screams fall on deaf ears not because people aren't interested but because they become muffled by the oppressive octave of white supremacy, capitalism, and the replication of the thing white feminists fight against, patriarchy.

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I was on a flight, and I was super excited to enjoy part two of my wedding anniversary trip with my beloved husband. After boarding our flight, we sat in front of a family of three: a white woman and her two kids. Shortly after sitting down, it became apparent that "Karen" was on our flight. She talked loudly with another passenger and criticized another mom for not "doing the right thing” to pacify her crying baby. She quickly asked the flight attendant to tell me to put my mask back on after sneezing into a napkin, even though I already had it on at that point. And despite not being in first-class, she refused to go to the "back of the plane" to use the lavatory. Karen was seriously out of control and on overdrive. The sad irony was she was equally obnoxious and oppressive to her children.

There was a lot of commotion behind us, and Karen was seemingly intent on being heard: loud, proud, and in charge. Some of the background noise was about seating preference. Her son asked if he could sit next to the window, she responded with a resounding “NO.” When asked why, Karen curtly replied, "because I'm the adult." The most upsetting remarks were around her son's homework, though. The boy was clearly having a hard time with his math assignment, and instead of demonstrating grace and patience for her child, Karen became angry and annoyed. She expressed her annoyance by telling her kid that he was performing at “garbage level.” Karen said many more upsetting things to her children, but I digress.

I’ve heard of having a bad day—which is a specious argument to describe this scenario and others like it—but sadly, I could understand and believe the toxin that my ears had consumed. That destructive, narcissistic, and entitled behavior is all too common among white people with unchecked and unexamined internalized white supremacy, classism, and patriarchy. And there are hundreds, if not thousands, of videos that serve as evidence.

So let’s break down three oppressive systems, ideologies, and beliefs that Karen perpetuated and why it’s incumbent for us to examine our relationship to them.

For more on this piece please visit medium.com/@joeypierre